how old are you if you don't mind me asking....

i have like 6 posts on SW...so maybe. i am just a 30 year old person from usa who was very depressed and came through to the other side, that is my only motivation with posting.

some of the things you have said makes sense. i can definitely feel you are drained. some of your emotions i feel, although illogical, i have experienced them myself. i'd probably be a little mad at my housemate too. its illogical. very illogical. he could be 100% not at fault, but sometimes the brain doesn't give a fawk and i'll have those feelings.

i don't know...i am just part of society and i haven't learned a single sentence about mental health. you do seem to talk down to yourself a lot. you sound like a pretty nice person from some of the things you feel guilty about and what you expect of others. i only ask how old you are because i personally have gotten better at managing disappointment.(the comment aboutt your dad and the 100 good jobs to make up for one bad job). i have gotten better as i gotten older handling that one disappointment or put down by someone.

i would maybe talk to someone. a counselor or therapist may be able to help you see the other side of the coin a bit more. i definitely think you are a normal, good person, but you are just at a low time right now and struggling. I think a professional you may be able to bounce ideas or see the other side of the coin a bit more. sometimes we get lost in our brain. but i don't think you are a bad person at all.

almost everything you said made sense to me and i can see what you are saying. nothing is delusional or crazy. it all makes sense and i'm sorry you feel that way.