Dr. Bright looked up from the lab results a second time. “I can’t believe it” she said. She looked down again at the results, and then looked back at the smiling Dr. Brown, “The implications of this are incredible!” “I know,” replied Dr. Brown. “Can you imagine the impact this is going to have on the world? It’s going to change everything!” as he smiled and leaned back into his computer chair. Dr. Bright continued to look down at the results, flipping pages, as she shook her head in astonishment. “I mean, I can see the obvious benefits,” she stated as she peered down upon Dr. Brown “but really, how far could this take us? The human race I mean! It could create a whole new world order” “I know” replied Dr. Brown. He smiled and laughed. He was beyond giddy. He could not even put sentences together. He just kept reclining in his computer chair, laughing to himself. “And you! You’re the one that discovered it! You’re going to go down as the greatest. I mean, the absolute greatest. You’ll be remembered until the end of time,” Dr. Bright exclaimed. Dr. Brown sat upright in his chair and looked Dr. Bright, wide-eyed, paused for a minute and replied, “I knowwww” then leaned back in his chair an broke back into hysterical laughter. The breakthrough began when Maddox Carmichael, seven pounds six ounces, was born on October 26th, 2015. He was a bundle of joy. The apple of his mother’s eye. At first the condition was only casually noticed. A pleasant surprise mainly. The nurses in the nursery noticed first. Well isn’t that odd they thought. Odd but pleasant. After a few days though they realized it was not really odd. It was the norm for young Maddox. That’s when the obstetrician, Dr. Brown, stepped in. He knew this was more than just an oddity. Diet couldn’t explain it. After a newborn was alive for three days there would surely be a change. Dr. Brown continued to watch the baby over the next week. Maddox was a local celebrity in the hospital, word had gotten around of Maddox’s delightful presents. Other mothers would come by when they occurred. Doctor’s from all over the hospital would stop in. Even the old ladies in palliative care came down to enjoy Maddox’s sweet gifts when they occurred. The young boy really started changing the world, unbeknownst to him, from the day he was born. Dr. Brown knew there had to be a reason why they were occurring. Although it was a miracle, there had to be a scientific explanation on why it was happening, and he had to find out what it was. The obvious thought was to examine the anus and anal cavity. Samples were taken an analyzed, but there were no unordinary secretions found. Nothing that a normal infant wouldn’t be secreting. Dr. Brown thought perhaps it was diet then. Maybe Mrs. Carmichael was the true miracle. Maybe she was the source of all the delightful presents. Dr. Brown explained the hypothesis to Mrs. and Mr. Carmichael. Logically, because there was nothing extraordinary in the secretions, the next logical source of the gifts would be the food. He proposed his experiment to the Carmichaels. They were somewhat hesitant at first but understood the importance of little Maddox’s gift and agreed to go along in with the experiment. Dr. Brown fasted for a day, then came to Mrs. Carmichael’s room for his feeding. As he sucked on Mrs. Carmichael’s teet he wondered if he was going to far for this breakthrough. But then he remembered the first time he smelled it and knew implications this breakthrough would have on the human race. He closed his eyes and suckled harder with this newfound determination. After a day of feedings, the moment of truth had arrived. Mr. Brown squatted down over a bed pan in Mrs. Carmichael’s room and let it go. The following scene was horrible. As soon as it occurred Mr. Brown knew he hadn’t achieved the breakthrough they were looking for. Mrs. Carmichael vomited on herself. Poor Maddox started to wail, and Mr. Carmichael gave Dr. Brown a death stare. The nurses tried to pretend not to notice but it was impossible. Mr. Brown hastily grabbed the bedpan and ran out of the room. Mr. Brown regrouped in his office. Dejected but not defeated. Two hypothesis were tested and failed. There were still more options however. There was still a reason this was occurring. He had to find out. As he gazed up upon his classic anatomy poster found in almost every doctor’s office it occurred to him. Of course he thought. It was so obvious. Why else would it be there? The appendage that has laid dormant for so long in humankind has finally come into fruition. Not the appendage, the appendix! It had to be it. He returned to Mrs. Carmichael’s room and proposed his latest hypothesis. To confirm this hypothesis a small sample of Maddox’s appendix would have to be taken. Mrs. Carmichael was reluctant to let her newborn go under the knife for Dr. Brown’s latest hypothesis, especially after how wrong he was on his last one. Just as she was about to say no, she heard a quiet, “plleerff” from Maddox. Dr. Brown and Mrs. Carmichael looked over towards Maddox. The smell wafted throughout the room. Dr. Brown closed his eyes and breathed in the glorious aroma. Mrs. Carmichael did the same. As Dr. Brown opened his eyes, he saw a small tear rolling down Mrs. Carmichael’s left check. “Yes” she said. The operation went smoothly and the sample was taken promptly to the lab. When the results came in Dr. Brown broke into a combination of tears and laughter. He had done it. He had proven the cause of Maddox’s sweet gifts.
It was a half an hour later when Dr. Bright, the Chief of Medicine, came to review his results and found Dr. Brown in a well deserved state of bliss. “And you found the mutation” she said, “and the gene can be easily modified to create the change for those that don’t possess it?” “Yes!” Dr. Brown drunkenly exclaimed. “My god,” Dr. Bright stated solemnly, “his shit doesn’t stink, his shit smells like roses!” she stated as her voice increased in volume, she continued into a shout, “No one’s shit will stink! Everyone’s shit will smell like Roses!!” She looked down at Dr. Brown wide-eyed. He returned the wide eyed gaze and said, “I know!!!” then leaned back into his office chair convulsing with manic laughter.