"Hey guys. If you're reading this, I'm probably dead.
Now, before you launch into woeful despair at the meaningless black of a life without /u/Finalfortress, I just want to tell you guys a few things.
One: Thank you.
Somehow, I never was afraid to die. Just a quiet, guaranteed black at the end; why worry about something that I couldn't change?
Maybe I accepted things a bit too easily. Maybe I was too logical about it. Maybe...
Maybe I was afraid to live.
It's tough being alive, it is. I suppose that's what makes living... well, living. An endless cacophony of noise and light, an eternity of things too bright and too loud, just a roaring chaos of everything and anything.
It doesn't make sense. Life never does, that's why its life. It's ugly and beautiful and it's dark and bright and it's cold and hot all at the same time. It's so irrational and unreasonable.
I didn't like it that way. I've always been the scientist, trying to find systems and reasons for everything, and when I kept reasoning and reasoning and reasoning... I found that there was no such thing as reason at all.
That hurt, it did. So many nights raging at the world for not making sense, so many days wishing God was here and hating Him at the same time, so many hours spent wondering if I should just stop the endless hell that was my own fucked up head.
So thank you.
Thank you C, for teaching me how to smile again.
Thank you A, for teaching me how to laugh again.
Thank you K, for teaching me how to cry again.
Thank you everyone else I couldn't fit on this stupid piece of paper, for teaching me how to be human again.
Whenever I would laugh too hard and eat too much and talk too loud with you guys, I would forget how heavy and how hard the world felit weigh down on my shoulders.
Thank you for that.
Two: Let it go. (C, if you start singing right now, I swear to God, I will come back and haunt your ass)
I hate to sound like fucking Elsa now, but let it go. I'm more dead than K's social life now; that's not going to change, and I'm sorry for that, for both you and me.
But move on. I love you guys; do you really think I'd want you assholes to get all mopey and depressed because I'm dead now?
Hell fucking no. If anything, party it the fuck up. Play Smash Bros together, to forget the sadness. Go through one of my shitty stories together, to forget the sadness. Do anything to forget the sadness.
But don't forget me. I forgot me once, and, man, did that fuck me up.
Remember me. Remember how I sorta smelled and spat saliva a lot when I talked. Remember my dark-ass jokes and my light-ass attitude. Remember that shitty DnD campaign I DMed for you. Remember how you made me laugh and I returned the favor.
I want you guys to live, just like I'm not right now. Be free, be warm, be alive, for me, okay? Do that for me, okay?
Three: There's a box of chocolates attached to this letter. Just a little something sweet to remember me by."
Some of the names have been swapped around, as I wrote this originally as a contingency for my friends if I were to die without saying a proper goodbye. I hope you liked it.