The sudden screech of the alarm jolted Vlad awake, almost making him fall from his perch under the doorframe. hiss. He could hear moving around outside his room, things being moved. The alarm continued, burning into his head. Bang bang bang.
"Vlad, you awake?" Jerry called through the door. Vlad sighed.
"Yes, yes" he muttered, swooping down from the ceiling to softly on the floor.
"Come on, man. You know Wednesday's are when we do the fire drill," the muffled voice replied. Vlad made his way to the window and peaked behind the cardboard sheet covering it. Hiss. The brightness was intense. Vlad pulled back, eyes wide and blinking hard, waiting for his eyes to adjust. He put on his Ray Bans and peered again. A sunny day. Great. Bang bang bang.
"Come on Vlad! We're going to be late again!" Jerry called again, more urgent this time.
"Can't you tell them I'm not here?" Vlad called back. "It's a bit bright outside today."
"And tell them you're where?" Jerry yelled back, "You've been unemployed for two months now since that... event... at the blood bank, you cant be staying with friends because they're all in this building, except for Dave, who's now in the psych ward after that attack on poor old Mrs Randall, and anyway, your car is still parked outside. Speaking of which, could you park it a little more conspicuously? The elderly tenants don't seem to like it." Vlad looked down at his hearse. "I could have walked somewhere" Vlad replied.
"You're joking right. I've seen you walk, from your room to the kitchen, and back again. Any further and you do the weird floating thing, which is freaky as fuck and you'd be put away with Dave if you did that in public. No man, just come outside, it won't take long. Pretty sure they're waiting for us now." Vlad sighed and pulled his cloak tightly around him, and drifted to the door, opening it with a swift motion.
"SURPRISE!" The lights turned on and the noise of party flutes filled the room. Vlad recoiled back, his white face looking even paler, his mouth agape in horror, beared his fangs. Hiss.
"Fucking hell Vlad calm down! Sarah, turn the alarm off, and grab the cake!"
"Oh guys you didn't have to do this" Vlad rasped.
"Of course we did! Come on Big V, you think we'd forget your birthday?"
Sarah returned carrying a scarlet cake, with '22' written in black icing, despite Vlad being over a thousand years older. On it were, rather unpleasantly for Vlad, 22 candles, each a lighthouse of pain in Vlad's eyes.
"Gah!" He uttered as the flames drew closer.
"Blow out your candles, mate" Jerry grabbed the cake and pushed it in front of Vlad's face.
"Blaargh!" Vlad could feel the heat, tingling his skin. He drew as big a breath he could and moved his face even closer, wincing in pain. All eyes were on Vlad as he wheezed out air, causing the flames to gently flutter.
"Come on Vlad!"
His lungs heaved as his took air in again, this time Vlad pulled his arms up.
"I call on the might of the gargoyles!" He belted, before unleashing a torrent of air towards the unsuspecting cake. The room grew silent. Smoke rose from the now extinguished candles.
"Yes... Yes" Vlad whispered excitedly. The party goers looked at each other in horror. Suddenly, the flames burst into flames once more. Burning into Vlad's sensitive skin.
"Trick candles!" Jerry exclaimed.
Worst. Birthday. Ever.