I have obviously spoken to them about this subject , my mother in law currently works in an assisted living facility and always comes home and tells me about things she doesn't like that happen in there. So I asked why she wants to go in to one so bad, and her reason was that she didn't want to be a Burdon to the kids. I use the word insist because they are both very selfless. When offered the option of staying home but having trained professionals to take care of them they said as long as it's definately not a Burdon to you guys. My family is chinese and we have a triditional of staying multigenerational living.

Another thing I definately spidifically said was if it comes to it they would not be changed by me,there would be a seperation of duties, a care aid or nurse would do that.

I haven't assumed anything in this situation ,perhaps I didn't give all the details but you are the one that assumed alot as well as misread some.

On the topic of homes though,I agree there are amazing ones, I've also worked in one and the one I worked at was very nice.