You are bending backwards to appease your husband's need for variety of sex in order to not lose your marriage and family, when all of it feels wrong for you and you hate it. You are not homophobic for hating sex with women. You are just on one end of the heterosexual-homosexual spectrum and there's nothing wrong with being there. What is wrong is that you force yourself to do these things or else your husband becomes depressed. And for the record, you can still like girl-on-girl porn. Porn is fantasy, not reality.

I second couple's therapy. Is your husband in therapy and/or on medication for his depression? Lots of people use NRE and sex as a substitute for medication and proper treatment.

Love and compatibility are not one and the same. You can love someone deeply and not be compatible with them or the way they do relationships, or their life choices. Like I said, I feel that you are bending backwards to appease your husband or else he gets depressed which is very codependent and ultimately very damaging for you. You feel that there's something wrong with you for hating what you are doing to yourself but there's nothing wrong with you.

My advice would be stop having sex that you don't like and with other people. Respect your monogamous feelings. They are trying to protect you from doing things that is unhealthy for you. Start doing couple's therapy with him. If you cannot afford that, find other modalities that you can afford but this is important. In my countries we have Family Counselling Services that are low-cost/ free of charge. Your husband should seek treatment for his depression. This is a very unfair situation for you.

And look up co-dependency in relationships. It is when one partner start enabling the other person's "addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement". You might recognize yourself in this definition.