YTA. My dad was just like your husband. I haven't seen or spoken to him in years, with no plans to change that. My mom was and is just like you. We barely speak. My childhood was the same as your daughter's. My parents' insistence on a strict Christian upbringing alienated me from religion in general and the Christian god in particular. I'm not an atheist, as are about half of my former youth group. This form of fundamental religion pushes people to the extremes; they either become as fanatical and judgmental as you, or they leave entirely...because they are pushed out by the first group.

You and your husband will have the relationship with your daughter that you have earned. I hope your self-righteous enabling and your husband's self-righteous (and creepy as all hell) preoccupation with your adult daughter's sex life was worth completely destroying your relationship with your child.