My mom is an Asian immigrant. She has the hardest life story of anyone I have ever known. It's incredibly sad and painful to think about. She loved her parents and lost both in very traumatic ways.

You know what she would do a lot? Project that difficult life experience onto me anytime I don't want to do something the way she does or when I tell her she's being unreasonable about something and try explaining my side. We fought a LOT for most of my adolescent years.

You said you admit to not being very mushy and expressive with love, but that you work hard to keep a roof over her head. Hate to tell you this: that does not substitute feeling loved. My mother worked 12-18 hour shifts until she was injured at work and couldn't work anymore. I loved her and worried about her more than anything as a kid. I knew she was working to make money so we would have food in the house. I knew she loved me. But I didn't feel that love. And that makes a really, really big difference.

You are making your daughter feel like she has to work for your love. You should be making her feel like she is loved as she is, because I'm sure you adore your daughter, so let her know that! Regularly! Consider: how often do you compliment or express appreciation to your daughter? Have you ever told her anything like, "I'm so proud of you sweetie," completely unprompted? Like, you two were just in the kitchen getting snacks, and you just randomly told her that? Because my mom started doing things like that when I would be home for the summers during college. She had a LOT of time to reflect while I was gone. And her being more expressive instead of just being critical has really helped our relationship dynamic out.