So, that relates to some background information I omitted because TL;DR.
When this initial spanking information came up it was shortly after a situation where BM's SO's BD8 and our SS7 (6 at the time) had been caught with the door closed doing some inappropriate showing/touching. So, that quick backstory is:
BM calls BD (my SO) hysterical because SS7 is telling her that he was touched over the summer at camp. BD conferences me in and we question what he said and where this was coming from because we never heard a word about it all summer and we were conserved. She says he told her that night, we ask for context and with A LOT of pressure she tells us that SS7 and her SO's BD8 were caught when they were supposed to be washing up for dinner and and they were questioned about who touched them and taught them that and SS7 said he was touched at camp.
I tell her that I will call the camp and get more information, set up a counselor and if needed make a report with DCS. The next day we get a call from DCS that BM has reported the camp and BD arranges a time to talk to them about the reported event.
We then talk with SS7 who immediately says, "it wasn't me. She (SO's BD8) made me do it. She told me I had to get into it more or I would get in trouble!!" The phrase "get into it more" was a big red flag for us because that's not something a child would say naturally, I'm my opinion. So, we confront BM and she plays it off like he's just trying to get his "sister" (because SS7 has been told by BM and her SO that they are a family and this IS HIS SISTER) in trouble.
We do the call with DCS and when we talk about how it was discovered that he had been touched at camp that BM didn't mention anything about SS7 and the girl touching that started the incident. So, a new report is opened and a shit storm begins with BM and her SO.
Meanwhile a forensic interview is done on SS7 by DCS and we find out he was bullied at camp and the boy was removed within week 2, but he was apparently squeezing boys junk to scare them. I ripped the camp a new one for not informing us and we moved on.
BUT in the process of all of the SS7 tells me that BM told him that when DCS comes for the interview with them that he needs to "fix this" because if he doesn't her SO's BD8 will get taken away and the. SO will leave them and she will be too sad.
So, SS7 lies to DCS say SO's BD8 didn't say anything to make him touch her and that it was his idea and he's sorry.
And we have talked to him and send him to a counselor where we think we are safe to say he is not being touched or physically harmed or she would know... now it's this spanking thing.
Jesus. I feel like we are negligent for not doing more for him, but BM threatens my SO with so much and a truly believe she can manipulate SS7 to say anything.
SS7 also now "remembers" being molested at camp even though he told the therapist as and forensic psychologists the real story as far as we know.