i feel for your struggle right now as it is eerily similar to my very own reality. I was the boyfriend in this case and the one i care about more than anything likely felt the same things as you throughout being together for the same reasons. Try to be open as much as you can, communication is so important. I think if i would have talked more and addressed the issues i was facing-things would be different.I was so depressed that i could only see through that dark window. i thought and believed my worst fears and became closed up and just feeling guilt. I cared so much and what i felt in my heart was the opposite of my actions would show. Withdrawing from my girlfriend was because I had so much guilt and i seen how I have been hurting her and it made me sad-i just kind of withdrew and probably gave off the impression that I didnt care or did not love her when that was totally not the case. There is nothing wrong for feeling how you do. Trust me, i know its a shitty situation. I also say that you need to be happy first. It is so important to be stable yourself. What you are going through is a depression as well and various strong emotional feelings because you love and care about the person that is hurting-which hurts you. I wish you the best. Just try to give yourself the attention that you need and try to talk about things. It is a very difficult situation and it is important to know why he feels that way- if something traumatic happened out of his control it could have impacted him in a way that left him with no control over his own feelings and self.. as in my case-i needed help because events out of my control led to my deep depression and i did not properly give the attention such events needed to have for closure and peace to set in. Things built up within because i kept trying to move forward and force myself to forget about things. In my head i did not want to address how i felt- i wanted to keep pushing through it.i knew how serious my depression was and speaking about how i feel would open up pandoras box. You see, i seen how my depression was affecting me, those i loved and my entire way of life. I felt horrible that i could even feel that way in the first place and allowed my girlfriend to become full of anxiety and sadness because she had to stand by me not knowing what to do but wanting to do anything possible to help. Trust me, i am so grateful and cant put in words how much she had helped me and how much i love her. I was truly going through a hard time and going through that caused me to withdraw from who i loved most and my own self. I began to hate myself for feeling the emotions i have. The battle was within myself. I was the best version of me and feeling my best prior to unfortunate events which led me into this depression. The feelings and beliefs i have always stood by were still in me but i felt as if all of that was chained up and overrun by horrible feelings and thoughts that i could not control. I became a shell of myself and was unable to change things as much as i wanted to. Being stable and content with yourself and life is most important because without that you cant be the person you want to be for your partner. That is most important. After that, for me personally- when you love someone in that true way, those feelings stay with you. Try seeking out some type of counseling because that will bring the true feelings onto the table and help you and your partner get better. I hope the best for you and understand the difficult position that you are in.