This particular conversation always leaves me floundering. I think you've said something that clarifies it. There are certain jokes from certain people, who I know and who have depression, that I laugh at. I don't find them funny, I find them communicative and a relief, that at least even in public we can quickly check in with each other. It's a level of deflection that works when all parties are 'in' on the 'joke'. On a bad day, it may be 'joke around for a few minutes and vent' if you can handle it on your own. On a bad day that you can't handle on your own, the jokes stop. There's a bit of honest conversation.

There' also the assholes that were arguing over unbelievable childish methods who knew literally nothing about how painful it is, and possibly effective (cousin had tried the method in question) that I just completely called out.

It matters who's making the jokes. It matters that you're not just trying to laugh at something serious.