I definitely can see how genetics and life experiences can play a part. I had a pretty tough upbringing. Didn’t know my dad, mom was out of the picture around 7 yo (thank god) due to her drug addiction, grandparents raised me - grandma killed in accident I was in with her by a guy who was on pills driving- I was 17 and basically stayed with her body in the car until help arrived. If we really want to get in it, I was supposed to be driving that day but I took the passenger seat and she drove. I definitely think subconsciously my life history has some weird part in how I feel. Seems like I should be the opposite and straight/narrow though. But sometimes I feel like the only times I’m not constantly in a state of stress is when I’m drinking. That’s just going to have to be something I work through. Thanks for letting me vent to you