I feel so sad... I feel like I'm letting her down... I'm garbage... How can I make her worry like this.. I just I hate lying to her... And shes got the intuition of a goddamm psychic... I'm a cancer though... And I just want her to be happy... I want nothing more than to put a smile on her face and make sure sjes feeling happy and content and healthy... That's what matters to me... And I just feel like a toxic cancer that brings her down and makes all thise other things wah harder to achieve... I'm not entirely selfless... I hate being alive and I do want to die... But the only reason I breathe anymkre or my heart beats is because of her... I love her so much... I literally can't say it enough or adequately describe how much she means to me... And I'm garbage... Toxic, terrible, human garbage... I wish I was better... I really do... I just... I want what's best for her....and I'm so fuxjing sad all the time... It hurts so damn bad... I feel like I'm constantly being carved out by my demons... Its horrible...