I'm in a similar position. I have no reason to live other than wanting to spare my family grief.

I don't think your family's main reaction would be to call you selfish. I think their main response would be terrible grief and regret that they couldn't help you. You're right, there probably was nothing your uncle's loved ones could do to save him. But it's a what-if response born of their sadness. They're thinking, if only we'd helped him he wouldn't have died. They want to believe it wasn't inevitable. It's terrible to think that depression can make life so unbearable that you'd rather die. It's terrible for them to realize a man they loved took his own life and they were powerless to stop it.

Calling suicide "selfish" is another grieving response. "Why did he do this to us? Why didn't he come to us for help? Didn't he love us enough to stay?" Yeah, these thoughts are selfish, but i can't blame them. Your uncle's father just had to bury his own son. Losing a child is soul destroying. He's blaming himself and overcome with grief and he'll be that way for the rest of his life.

I can't say this is true for you, but when I find myself resenting my family for "making" me stay alive, I come up with lots of rationalizations to make me feel more okay with the idea. "They'll move on. It's not selfish for me to die, it's selfish of them to make me live. Nobody really loves anybody, so it won't really hurt them if I kill myself." I don't know your family and perhaps this makes me naive, but I would without question die for my mother and sisters, and I believe they love me that much too.

Maybe one day the pain will become too great and I will have to do away with myself. And yes, ultimately it is my right to choose my fate, to hell with whether it's "selfish." But I can't lie to myself and pretend it wouldn't devastate several people. I should add, I don't come from some picture perfect happy family. There has been abuse and addiction and dysfunctionality. But I do still feel this way.

I hope you come from a family whose love you can count on. Maybe you don't, but I hope so. And maybe they can't do anything to save you. (I know mine won't save me, if anything does.) whatever choice you end up making is your right. But I do think your family's response to your death would be a lot more devastated than a simple "he was selfish."