I wantee to make this a post, but idk if it would violate the rules so I'll try it here...
Today I had the strangest realization that I am a product of a AF/BB attempt.
From what I have pieced together over the decades based on what I've was told, seen, or heard, the backstory is this (may not be 100% accurate but I think its close),
When my mom (late 60's) met my dad (also late 60's) back around, say '73 in college in ATL, my mom thought he was this immature, goofy kid who complained about not having a gf. I'm guessing she friendzoned him while she enjoyed her 20's to include moving out to LA for a few years after graduating, and returning back to ATL. My dad on the other hand, did ROTC and bacame an officer in the Army. They kept in touch over the years, and I believe they reconnected in the mid 80's when they were both in their early 30's.
This next part is tricky, but I guess my mom finally gave him a chance and got knocked up and had me, with thoughts that he was going to give her the ring (saw evidence proving this), but by that point my dad was more career driven and didn't want it and left her. Both co-parented throughout my life. Lived with my mom until I was 12 and ended up with my dad until I finished high school.
My theory: I won't accuse my mom rode the CC when she was young, or my dad being a simp before becoming more based, and ofc I will never hear the full truth from either of them, but I do think my mom's biological clock was ticking and finally gave my dad a chance, and he was smart enough to realize what he was getting into and noped tf out. I think my mom was the bitter single mom, and did the best she could. Obviously she became an increasingly statistic among black communities in the 80's with single moms, and had zero success with men, to include 3 failed marriages (I believe she was married at 18 and divorced shortly after), while my dad didn't get married until he was in his 50's and still married today.
How it had affected me was, first spending most of my developmental years as a boy in a single mom home, which many know the outcomes of men who come from those environments, so I won't bore you with that one. I believe my dad was trying to instil the mindset of "focus on yourself/chase success not women", to not end up in a AF/BB situation like the bullet he dodged (which I failed to do). Now, how he went about it, I don't fully agree with, but now looking back I finally understand what he was trying to do to look out for me. Crazy right?
I say this, whenever I hear some say that alpha male/beta male is some theory based on wolves, I know that is a bunch of horse shit. Majority of women practice AF/BB on men, whether they realize it or not, let alone admit it. I guess I wouldn't be here typing this if my mom didn't do it.
Whenever I hear things like women dying alone due to unsuccessful relationships with men, chances are they tried to do the AF/BB thing and it didn't work out for them. That is what will happen to my mom, while my dad is in a successful marriage coming up on 20 years. Lots of women practice this stuff, and will turn around (along with the echo chambers of feminists and white knights) and say you're cynical, misogynist, or their favorite word that begins with the letter "I" and rhymes with "tell" becauae you call them out on stuff like this. And to be fair, some men do it too, but the difference is they are crucified for it, but at the same time come with some bullshit excuse for justifying why women do it. I wonder what the statistics of subreddits like r/whereareallthegoodmen and r/marriageisnotworthit get reported for pointing out the obvious while allowing r/FemaleDatingStrategy and r/TwoXChromosomes thrive on promoting it. Believe me when I say its more common than you think. I am a product of it...and so is my daughter.