I went on a ski trip with my new girlfriend's church group (Horrible Mistake 1). I don't ski. The girls stayed in one 6 person room, the boys in the other 6 person room.
First morning, I wake up before anyone else, and take the biggest poo. It...clogged the toilet. I go to call the front desk, and it's in a room full of dudes I don't know. I leave the room and go to tell the front desk.
I come back, and maintenance woke everyone up to announce they were there to clean up my mess. Everyone hates me. 2 days to go.
Since I've never skied, I sign up for the free class. I'm the only one over 10. I learn how to plow and that I suck at skiing. I go down the green slope, and there are a ton o tight turns. I take out a dad trying to teach his daughter how to turn. I could have used the lesson. I can't turn.
I take the ski lift up with my girlfriend. It takes a long time. I try to get a kiss. She pushes me away and asks about the family I hit. "Oh you saw that?" Crap. Some family wipes out getting off the lift. It stops. Doesn't start for another 20 minutes. I'm cold. This sucks.
I go back to the bar (still a teenager) get a drunk guy to buy a pitcher of beer for me and everyone. She shows up with church group. They are appalled. 1 day to go.
Everyone hates me. I'm stating to hate them too. 24 hours until bus home comes. F- it. I grab skis, take lift to blue (easy hill) alone. Get off lift like a pro, line up, and fly down hill. Awesome. This isn't so hard. Do it again.
Girlfriend is happy to see me having fun. But she's going to black diamond. F- it. I hate life, let's go. I ride up. She spends the lift ride telling me her friends think I'm a screw up. Fine. Good for them. I slip a little getting off lift, but recover. Screw it. Let's do this.
We wait for our turn. It's time. I fly down mountain with her. It's so FAST! Feels awesome! She swerves to avoid family. Uh oh. I can't really swerve. Avoid them, still safe. Manage to stay on feet and sort of lean out of way when I need to. Getting scared. I'm at the end of the mountain, and it happens. I'm going to take out a family that can stop, control themselves, etc.
I snow plow, but I'm FLYING way past the time it's appropriate to try that. My girlfriend screams a warning. I just bite it. Take a dive and spread out trying to stop. I end up taking them out at their feet.
They actually help me up and ask if I'm OK. I can't stop apologizing. They think I hurt my leg. It's bruise, but fine. But, I pretend it's hurt as an excuse for wiping out. Girlfriend wants to call EMS. I insist it will be ok, just need to sit down.
I sit inside for the rest of the day. in the room, everyone is talking about my wipeout. Apparently 2 of them saw it. Bus finally comes. Girlfriend tells me she's so happy I came. No one has ever taken this much interest.
I have no idea what to feel for the entire bus ride back. Tell her it was the worst time I ever had, or that it was a once in lifetime experience (I hope).
I still don't ski.