From time to time I lapse into the thinking that I have fallen off the edge of one reality and into another. Like you, I have a specific time in mind concerning when this shift took place. Sometimes I feel that it is morally neutral, a sort of alternate dimension - but other times I fear that I am being punished in this place. When this was at its height I felt that certain figures within recent pop culture were set in place to mock me. Still think that sometimes. I don't know how to entirely dismantle thought processes such as these (particularly when medication doesn't seem to dent it just right) -- but trying to search out small happinesses has helped me. If I can find one beautiful thing - even just one song - I can know that I am not someplace entirely depraved.