Ok, I hear you.

I'll say my quip: Reddit entertains me to no end - obviously I realize I'm behind the curve in social skills; I'm asking for advice on the social skills board. It's amusing how displaying a lack of social skills will get a person negative reactions on a board for advice on exactly that. Good chance that it will bounce back, though.

I suppose the problem is my pride and my stubbornness, in me wanting to have everything on my own terms, because there is a lot of validity in what I know. But, in school I'd try to contribute to class discussions from a unique angle and I'd routinely get shut down by the teachers. I'm a fiery passionate person and people are always trying to shove me into all the old boxes I don't want to be in. I have a need to challenge everything and that doesn't make me very popular. What I'm asking is how I can find the people who will accept me the way I am and help grow these skills instead of trying to cut me down. Once I have that outlet hopefully I'll be more able to stand all the small-talk.

I'm actually able to be fairly socially savvy, I can make people laugh and bring a bit of spontaneity to a dull evening. I'm improving but there's still some anxiety there. I do have a lot of baggage from when I was younger. People either really like me or really don't like me - I need to work on tolerating people that I don't agree with. But, the issue is partly that I'm bored. I don't want to have to take part in mundane pointless conversations but I realize this is how people make friends. I'm bored, and still kinda nervous, probably.

I'm used to being on my own, I can handle that, but at some point a person does need a social scene, and what hurts me is that very rarely do people reach out to me. It's always me who has to start the conversation.

I'm kinda thinking through this as I write. Not sure I'm 100% about everything I said above but we'll see what the reaction is. Thanks for the nudge.