There's a famous sex psychologist, can't remember the name, that basically said something like "The Five Love Languages is the Low Libidos partners goal post shifting guide to avoiding responsibility in an adult sexual relationship by shifting the burden of guilt onto the other partners "lack" of input on some imagined part of their life that results in them not "Feeling" it and justifying denying the other partner, imagine if your mother told you that in order for her to love you, you had to buy her gifts, or hug her a certain amount of time."

But yeah, at one time I read that book, gave it to my SO, she was like "Yeah, I need acts of affirmation and gifts I think!" so I did it, I did it all, I even read like books that were supposed to pair well as like practice to get better at showing affirmation and what gifts were good and how often etc.

Mine was physical stuff and I don't even remember now, something like hand holding and snuggling.

She got hers, I never got mine, then I started googling stuff like "So my GF is not responding to this book at all." and found thousands of others saying "yeah, that's because we all got sold snake oil, perhaps if you pamper her more or give her 15,000 thread count egyptian sheets THEN she'll wanna fk you! ha!"

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.