A lot of these things sound eerily similar to my ex. I know he's been with his current girlfriend for about the same amount of time, so it immediately made me think of the off chance it's him and you're her.
Let me tell you a story about my eerily similar ex. His parents were devoutly religious, and he led a double sort of life where he pretended to be around them, but definitely was very un-Christian the rest of he time. His mother treated him like he was her perfect angel and I wasn't good enough for him (even though I was better behaved in many respects). When we were together long enough that I was thinking about sleeping with him (I was always veeery careful about that kind of thing), I asked him what we would do if an accident happened and I got pregnant. He got this blank expression and went, "That would ruin my life."
No matter what I tried to ask or say or get him to talk about the possibility, he kept saying the same thing over and over. "My parents would be so mad. That would ruin my life." (This was a guy in his 20s, mind you!) He refused to be an adult about it. So guess what? I never slept with him. I didn't trust him enough and wanted some form of commitment (engagement or whatever) before I would. I should have listened to the warning signs.
I have a tendency toward depression and ended up having a major depressive episode late in our two-year-long relationship. He treated me like I was an inconvenience (sound familiar?) and left me crying and alone after I told him about my suicidal thoughts to go watch a basketball game on TV (our college was competing and he never usually cared about sports) with his friends in their dorm. My good friend, and now husband, talked me down from killing myself. What if I hadn't had him?
The odds are astronomical of your guy actually being my ex, but he sounds enough like him that it set off warning bells. I know it's hard to break up, especially when you've been in a relationship for so long, but if he's so hard-headed that he can't talk about things or support you or think of anyone but himself, you'll be surprised how relieved you'll feel when he's gone.
My ex broke up with me, and I was honestly more upset about the hurt pride and the sort of sudden change in my life than by actually losing him. That part felt like a relief. I didn't have to feel so worthless anymore. Don't let him treat you that way. He's not someone who can take responsibility or help you through anything.