Selfish family more then shitty.
I have BPD, I found out about 4 years ago after seeing a specialist.
I figured out I have a lot of shit suppressed... a lot. I don't remember much before high school, I don't remember much of my childhood. Twice I have had moments where I see something that triggers a bad memory from when I was a kid, and I did nothing but beg that the memory go away.
I remember few things... The first memory I have is how my mom and dad got into a real bad fight when I was a kid and a steak knife being thrown at me and getting stuck in the wall.
I remember my mom ignoring me for a full year straight because I told my dad how my step dad abused the fuck out of me. (Twisted my arm and leg so bad I couldn't use them, just cause I didn't want to listen. Beat me and bruised me. Stabbed my wrist with a pencil cause I didn't do my homework. I still have the led in my wrist to prove it.) He got removed by police and told he couldn't be near me for a year. My mother hated me for telling my dad the truth. She would always make me tell the school or my dad/grandparents I had did it while playing. Til this day she defends him if the subject comes up, saying I deserved it because I was a terrible child.
I remember watching my dad just drinking himself to death from depression, crying and holding onto the dog. We went to Six Flags once when I was little and he got so drunk at the bar in the hotel that he fell unconscious and ended up in the hospital. He forgot I was with him, the hotel had no idea I was in the room until I went down looking for my dad. I was alone for a full day waiting for mom to pick me up... and she was pissed beyond belief.
I never felt like I had anywhere safe to go, ever when I was a kid. Even schools were hellish. I was the weird kid that no one wanted to talk to. I got bullied a lot, and not just by kids, but teachers to. I had kids tell teachers I had done something horrible, and I would get in trouble and have the shit beat out of me by the teachers until i said sorry. (They had paddles) The teachers "knew" I was the bad kid. I never knew what I did, I never understood what I had done wrong... only that I was absolutely terrified, constantly. At moms, at dads, at school. I was begging for someone to kill me at only 6-8 years old, I don't think I understood I could have done it myself back then.
I am 25, to this day I am still scared of my mother, my step dad... I miss my dad a lot, even though he wasn't the best dad, I wasn't as afraid of him. He died when I was a teenager.
Yeah I know that most of this stuff sounds shitty, and yeah, it is... but it comes down to people just being selfish. They just don't care about anyone, they just want what makes themselves happy.