my son has been calling my husband 'dad' since virtually the day he met him.

my husband didn't want kids ever, but he took on the role of daddy to that little boy.

said little boy is 24 now. he knows who his biodad is, has seen him a time or two, and when he's feeling resentful, he angry-texts him.

throughout it all, he knows that his dad, my husband, his "stepfather", has:

taught him to ride a bike
helped him build robots in the backyard
attended parent nights at school
talked to him about grades and school and girls and legal troubles
punished him when necessary

etc.

he calls his 'father', 'father.' he calls his dad, 'dad'.

you are going to be that for your little boy. you're the real 'mom'. it's unfortunate that the woman who gave birth to him can't appreciate it, but it's extraordinarily fortunate for your son that he has you to take her place.

do not EVER consider yourself a "fake" mom. you're the one doing the day to day. you're as real as it gets, and i'm glad your son has you, and i'm grateful to you for choosing him. because... you chose him, and that's pretty special.