Therapy would definitely help you overcome your fears and this forum seems like a good place to get advice. Because of your past fear and not really be interested in experimenting its good to start this slow. I too went through a period years ago where I would lose interest in sex because I have been sexually assaulted (my youth and as an adult) and therapy has greatly helped. What therapy taught me was that the past isn't going on at the moment that my husband wanted to have sex with me. She taught me to really be in the moment and focus on the now such as the feeling, what he's saying, how he smells, anything that keeps my mind in the current. I had to step out of the fearful emotional brain and get into the logical brain and really look at what was going on with me at that current moment. My husband wasn't the rapist or the family member molesting me but my husband... someone who loves me and wanted to express this by having sex, and giving and receiving pleasure in a respectful , safe way. Things that helped us when we would have sex was watching porn together ( even if we thought it was funny corny) and light role playing. The hardest part is doing your best to step out of your comfort zone and really get into the moment by focusing on how it feels and what you want to feel. Have you ever tried masturbating or watching him as he strokes it? You would be surprised how hot it is to just watch each other and it's something that can keep your mind in the now. That's the only advice I have and I hope it helps somewhat.