No, you don't quite get it about wanting to have her own money for little luxuries (or more).

It is HARD being financially dependent on someone. Even if that someone is your spouse. Yeah you can budget all you want, but it feels a little off when you're spending your husband's money on something he doesn't like. Like maybe you like crafting, and the husband thinks it's pointless. Or while tightening the budget, your fancy hair products are the first to go.

You can argue about fairness with your husband and all, but you don't want someone else to sign off on all your indulgences, the things that keep you sane, and have to fight for even the smallest things. It is very very very stressful. Hell, sometimes it's stressful just knowing all these expenses are being logged and monitored by someone else.

My husband and I do a his hers ours split, because otherwise I would be constantly stressed about things he chooses to spend on. Now he makes enough, but Magic The Gathering is an expensive hobby, and not one I really understand. I think it's better for our marriage for me to not know or care as long as our combined expenses are met, because even though my husband is being responsible, some of his expenses feel pointless to me (I was raised poor and pinch pennies so throwing money on playing cards makes me anxious).