I wasn't super close to my dad. He and my mother divorced when I was young and once he found a new family, we really didn't see him much even though we lived in the same town. I want to say I was as much to blame but I was only a teenager then and I think he really wasn't there for me at all.

But...I adored him growing up. He was the one that ran beside my unsteady first bicycle rides and taught me how to tie my shoes. He was the one who took me out for ice cream cones and sat on the floor to play games when my mother never would.

I knew he had cancer, but his health declined super quickly. In the hospital, he made a choice to have his CPAP machine turned off. I called to tell him good-bye but it was too late. His cancer was terminal but was not expected at that time. I was faced with so much guilt over everything I hadn't done, and everything I hadn't said. Maybe things could have been different if I had tried harder or maybe they couldn't have. But I will never know now.

My best advice to you is tell her everything she means to you. Tell her you love her. If she is well enough made audio or video recordings of her talking about anything, your family, you as a child. Anything. If she isn't up to this then just hold her hand and say all the things in your heart.

I know it's hard. I'm so sorry about your mother. Try to take care of yourself too during this time. Make sure you get enough to eat and enough sleep. Take care.