I came up with a way of helping people understand what (social) anxiety feels like that I'm really proud of. Of course I haven't had the chance to test it (because of you know, anxiety) but it goes like this.

I take a cardboard box and tell people that I have put five or so spiders in there. Some bigger, some smaller. I don't know a whole lot about spiders but they have never bit me so they are supposedly safe. They just have to reach in, feel around a bit, and then I will tell them "good job".

I am convinced that no-one would put their hands in the box, because it is just not worth it. Unless of course they really like spiders, but then you should reconsider why you are friends with them in the first place... If you feel like ultimately ruining the party, you can reveal that there were no spiders in there at all, and they were "weak" for being afraid of something that wasn't even there.

Anyway, I am pretty sure your husband has experienced anxiety before he just didn't call it that. Everybody is afraid of something that they couldn't reasonably justify. Be it heights, people (or certain people), walking under a ladder, asking for a raise, or petting a spider...

Of course when anxiety becomes a mental health issue, it is much more than just unreasonable fear. A large part of it is habits. I'm sure you know at least one habit of your husband's that he would have trouble suspending even for a day - does he smoke? or start the day with coffee or the daily paper? does he take a shower when he gets home from work? does he have a favourite TV programme? You get used to doing things one way and this can be very hard to break. Especially, if you have never done it any other way.

Another one is beliefs. About ourselves, others, the world. Has he ever felt road rage? If so, I am 99% sure he misjudged the situation and didn't even think about it. It happens to all of us. Or does he dislike a neighbour, a relative, or acquaintance and cannot explain why? Or does he think he is not good with languages, computers, animals, arts or whatever? These are all feelings based on unverified beliefs.

A third one is what I call the 'unconscious' part. I'm getting a bit tired so I'm just going to say that not everything in your mind and body can be directly controlled. Let's do an experiment! Look right and then back at the screen. Good. Now concentrate on your heart. And stop it. Come on, just for a second! Your mind gives you concious control over a lot of things. But not everything. Of course that doesn't mean those things cannot be controlled but you need to learn to do so. And that takes time and effort.

Finally, you both have to understand that there are many kinds and degrees of anxiety, as there are many ways to think about it and deal with it. My family prefers to think of (that is mostly ignore) my anxiety as a personality trait. And I'm ok with that because it keeps me from becoming comfortable with it. Your husband may never understand completely why you prefer to watch a movie or read a book instead of going clubbing, but he can still choose to accept it (and help you with it if you both feel like it needs helping).