You're sailing into unknown territory man, I'm sorry. You're going to experience a lot of new emotions and sometimes feel numb. That's normal, and completely alright.

Just treasure the time you have together. Try to be present as much as you can. Ask questions you were afraid to ask. Find out about his past as a young man before he became 'Dad'. write it down. Do what you can to be present and be kind. You will sometimes get angry, feel helpless, confused and sometimes numb. It's completely normal. Don't make yourself feel bad about your negative emotions. They are valid, and completely normal.

I was given 6 years to care for my Dad after his diagnosis (he was given 3 months initially). It's incredibly hard to watch someone you love so much decline in health when you can't directly do anything about it, but you are doing something incredible by just being there for him. He needs you. He might not tell you, but he's scared too, and he needs you. He needs to know you're going to be alright after he is gone, and he needs your love. Sometimes emotions are not enjoyable, but this experience will change and define you. Everyone has to deal with mortality eventually. It's just part of our short mortal life.

I can tell you, ten years after my dad passed away, (I was 22 at the time) I treasure every moment we spent together. I am thankful we had enough time to say everything we wanted to say, and I am my father's kid. I have more of him in my personality than I can keep track of.

He was the goofiest, most nonsequiter, unabashedly himself dude I have, as of yet, had the honor of knowing. I think about him every day, and I love him as much today as I ever have.

You are right now, crafting the story of your own life. You will look back on what happens to you in the coming months and years through many different lenses depending on where you are in life. My best advice to you is to act as honorably as you can, for yourself. You'll remember this for the rest of your life. Don't hold back questions because you're worried, don't avoid tough subjects because you're scared. You have the opportunity to clear it all up. I did and I could never want to go back. I learned things about my dad I didn't know I wanted to or could deal with. But I am happy I did. I am at peace with his death because he is with me. We're not talking spirits or religion,

He's with me, because I am him. But I am now much more than that.

If you ever want to talk as you navigate this experience, feel free to pm me.