first of phew, that was a lot so some practical advice first. Most people don't have the time to read through all that so i would recommend deleting this post and editing out the superfluous information and preamble about not offending people. also the nsfw tag is unnecessary.

to the meat of it. my first impression was that you might just be biromantic and asexual but if you think you might be trans and you find arousal from that perspective then you very well may be correct but obviously their is a lot to unpack in the why you wouldn't want to live as a woman. this could be because of internalized misogyny, transphobia or any number of reasons I would highly recommend talking to with another professional (since you said your current one was at a loss)

gender and sexuality are complicated especially when you are first learning about them and unlearning whatever misinformation that you have gathered over your lifetime my best advice would be to just spend some time around lgbtq people and not worrying about labels at the moment. this is why some people like to just use a queer in the general sense. You could hang out in some lgbtq subs or even better check out some streamers on twitch with the lgbtq tag up.

these are just my initial thoughts and I am by no means an expert on the subject but I spent several years trying to understand myself and reading and listening to others experiences so if you have any questions feel free to ask. regardless good luck on your journey <3