downtwntimbrown, I'm very excited for what's in store for us. He's the only thing in my life that's made me truly happy, and is literally everything I've ever wanted in a man. For the past few years I've been unhappy and just living a very stressful life. It still is, but, I enjoy it so much more, with him in my life. As a friend it was great, but what we have now makes it that much more special to me.
I guess I do have another question for you. With what I've posted on here, do you think he sees me as just a casual thing or something more? Like I said, I'm open to anything he wants for us. But, I'm very curious as well. Others seem to think it's just casual, but with some of the things we have said and done with each other, I think we're more than that. Of course, I could always be wrong.
When he was deployed, that's when this thing with us just started. He initiated it. A few times, until I finally, nerve-rackingly said yes. We talked frequently then, and got into extreme dirty talk almost everyday (which, we both voiced was amazing and such a turn on), while simultaneously talking about our days and things we were going through. We both listened, vented, and helped one another out.
We started sending pictures to one another, both innocent and not so innocent. Lol. He didn't force me to send them, and said he'll even wait to see me all in person. Which, made me so comfortable with him. First time I sent the sexier pictures, I felt at my lowest point. I didn't feel or look good, everything was working against me. I promised I'd send them for his birthday, so after breaking down a bit, I decided to just go for it. I sent them, and he liked them so much and complimented me in every way. He was so happy I even sent them at all.
Anyway, we continued to do all that, getting more and more into it everyday, while we wait for him to come home, and I fly to him. He offered to pay for my flight on several different occasions. I politely said no, and said that I feel that would be taking advantage of him. He understood, but didn't mind at all. I paid for my own to fly out to him that time, and he already said that he will come visit me as well in the future. He knows I have an extremely dysfunctional family, and that if they knew about him and us, it would be an absolute disaster for me. Yet, he still wanted to see me, was okay with it being a secret from them, and helps me out when my family begins to get to me.
Moving on, we're so excited to see each other for the first time in a long time. When we both arrive, we immediately tend to each others' needs, and he makes my first time very special like he said he would. He was very patient with me, him being my first and all, and he was gentle and didn't force anything on me that I wasn't comfortable with. Obviously, we continued to be sexually active safely and more often, throughout the trip. Him still being gentle, patient, and knowing I'm still in the learning phase. He was a total gentleman about it. I often played dress up for him, as he really enjoys it and I do too. Haha.
He asked me one day while we were in bed, what made me want to come to him. I told him, that he asked me to come and see him, and I wanted to because I really like him. He said he really likes me too, and he gave me a sweet kiss on the neck. While, pulling me closer to him in a cuddle, wrapping his arms around me. It was a very nice moment.
I stayed at his place, because that was something he wanted. I'm happy about that. We cooked for each other, helped him move in his new place, and I assisted him in decorating his new place as he wanted me to knowing that I had no experience of the sort, and did some cleaning up as well - a thing we both did.
He introduced me to his friends, and very best friends. Sometimes we would hang out with them and sometimes it was just us. He showed affection with me, in front of friends and in public. He would place his arm around me, sit close, have a hand on my thigh while sometimes rubbing it, kissing me sweetly as well. He said he wanted to take me out to show me off, and he liked it when I dressed up for him. He knows, I don't really wear makeup, and he's definitely okay with that.
When he would come home from work, we would cuddle for a very long time, watch TV, joke around, talk to one another about our days, and a lot of other things. We would of course have some fun and you know, sometimes take a shower together. Haha. Sometimes we went out, and sometimes we stayed in. It was a healthy balance. While at work, he would text me when he could, and was very happy when he came home to me all dressed up for him. Lol.
Anyway, before we knew it, time was up. He took off work without even asking me, to drive me to the airport. It was about an hour or so drive there. As I was packing my things, he told me I could leave some of my things at his place if I want, so packing would be easier for next time if I wanted to come see him again. I said of course I want to see him again, and he was happy about that. We kissed, and then he continued to help me pack. When he dropped me off at the airport, we kissed, said our goodbyes, and said until next time. He told me to text him when I was home safely, and I did. He also called me baby, and sweetie during this time.
Fast forward to the present, other than the short period of silence where he's busy working on things, we talk pretty often (he almost always initiates the conversation first after some radio silence). We flirt and engage in dirty talk often. We both send each other pictures, and yes some of them can be very dirty, and others just sweet. Either way, we always exchange compliments (sometimes it is simple, and other times pure enjoyment and excitement is professed), flirt, and it can lead to dirty talk. We send sweet and normal photos every so often, and the more sexual ones about 1 to 2 times a week... and quite a lot at once.
We both are encouraging the other to keep working out for ourselves, but it excites us both to know that we're also trying to look great for one another. We both are trying to lose a little weight and tone up. By no means are we fat, or even chubby. Just have a little excess weight we want to get rid of. He is damn near perfect if you ask me. I told him via text a little bit ago, that I was bummed that I wasn't at my best when I went to see him, and that I didn't reach my goal. He said I looked great to him, and that keep aiming for my goal because I can get there.
We both care about taking care of ourselves for us, and others. We know physical attributes matter, among other things. That said, we're realistic about it, and don't expect perfection. He said, I like a girl who is fit and confident in her body, but by no means do I expect you to have solid abs or anything. That made my day, especially since he knew that I wasn't as confident as I would have liked to be. He's attracted to confidence, and I didn't have any. He could have been turned off of me right there, instead he reassured me, and said he knows I'm confident with those pictures I've been sending him. Haha.
I'm overall pretty healthy, but do have some weight to lose. No abs, but my stomach is fairly flat. Genetically I was given untoned and fat thighs (working out regularly and eating healthy provide little results to tone them, and it's frustrating), varicose veins, lymph node issues, and some minor skin issues. When he saw me in person, he just said I looked great to him, and considering how insecure I was about all of it, his compliments and reassurance made me feel so much better.
Anyway. During this time, we both keep saying things like "Wish you were here," "I'd like to cuddle with you, and keep you warm right now," "I want to hold you in my arms," and many other things. Some things much dirtier than that. Haha. He just recently said, "I'm glad you're so comfortable with me now, to share this with me," in regards to the pictures I send him frequently. We also compliment each other often, even on our worst moments. He calls me babe, baby, and sweetie still. Even called me his doll. Lol. I call him babe. We always ask how the other is doing, talk about our days, and about other things, as well as help each other through hard moments.
After a period of silence, he asked me when I would like to see him again. I said very soon. We ended up making plans for a few weeks from now, but he did say he was taking leave around this timeframe and would have liked that longer time together as well. Unfortunately, with school, work, and mandatory military training in the way, we had to settle for just a little bit later (the time together will be just as long), and he was fine with that. Obviously, he'll have to work during this time, but we worked through that before easily and it won't be an issue this time around either.
Interestingly, he wanted me to visit around the time he was on leave. It was just a suggestion, nothing more. But, during this time, he is coming home to visit his family... and I was thinking. If I'm going to be with him during this time, he'll more than likely introduce me to his family. He already introduced me to some of his very best friends. Of course, that timeframe didn't work out, but it was just something I was wondering about.
So, I guess with ALL THAT SAID (