Hey, I'm not religious OR secular. I was raised Quaker. I currently belong to the Unitarian church, but when I joined our pastor was an Atheist, so that doesn't really mean anything. ;-)
What I am is the daughter of a Religious Studies scholar, and a Classicist by training. I have a deep and abiding respect for myth, ritual and tradition. I recognize that stories and symbols have real power in our lives (I'm looking at you, Santa!).
What are you doing?
My children are teenagers/adults now, but what I did when they were younger was try to model the behaviour I wanted to see in them. I wanted them to respect other people, so I treated them with respect and listened carefully to their opinions. I wanted them to be kind and non-judgemental, so I was kind to them and tried to refrain from judging the people around me. I wanted them to be forgiving, so I tried to be forgiving with the people in my life and encouraged them to do the same. I also talked to them - a lot! We discussed everything we saw or heard, and I didn't pretend to have an answer for everything.
I taught them world religions and history and rather than censor materials, we simply talked about them. I homeschooled for awhile, using a religious curriculum, and I remember stopping in the middle of one book to talk about missionary work with the kids. "How would you feel if someone came to your village and told you that your gods were fake? What if they told you that you should worship their god instead? Would you be mad? But what if they brought you presents? What if they gave you food when you were hungry? Now you're mad and grateful. Is what they are doing right or wrong?"
Now my role is mainly to provide debate. What's the right thing to do here? When (if ever) is it okay to illegally download something? Justify your actions! My kids and I don't always see eye to eye, but at least I know they're thinking about the ethics.
What are the core values or beliefs you have tried to teach your children?
Courtesy, kindness, having the strength of your convictions, courage, being willing to speak up when you see an injustice done. Respect for life.
Were these taught to you?
Yes! My mother has been fighting the good fight, for better or worse, her entire life. She walked on the front lines of the civil rights movement and taught in slums and prisons and even refused to allow police into her classroom because it was a "safe space". She's passionate in defense of her students, both current and former.
Have you followed your parents example or developed your own approach to this issue?
I'm better at understanding and managing people than my mother is, so I'm more likely to opt for a roundabout approach to achieving my goals, instead of charging in like a bull. But on the rare occasions I get my back up, I do start sounding an awful lot like her.
What does your religious practice or secularism look like, how is it integrated into your lives? (If applicable).
The kids went to the Unitarian church with me when they were smaller. I taught Sunday school for a bit. Both eventually drifted away as they became teens, though my daughter still carries the principles on a card in her wallet. My husband and I are both involved in teaching OWL - the church's very extensive sexuality education program.
I am not much of one for grace or reflections and we like to eat our meals in the livingroom in front of the TV. But we still do enjoy getting together as a family to play games. Currently, our favourite is Cards Against Humanity. :-D