Do a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life

I think ATCaver has the right idea, but I don't think he really put it in understandable terms.

From what I do and do not understand about your situation, you seem to have a fairly swell life other than your anxieties and social life. What you need to do is understand that things aren't as bad as they seem, and start to slowly crawl out of the rut you're living in.

First, you have to understand that you are a great contribution to society, and you are nowhere near as prone to failure as you may think. From what I know from your post, I assume you're a doctor, a physician, or something along those lines. I don't know much about that, i'm just in high school, but isn't everything you do to help a patient improving their life? I'm sure everyone you assist in your job is very grateful you did. And when it comes to anxiety about messing up, you can get that no matter what you're doing in life, rather that's the driving test i'm taking next week or another medical examination you have to perform. You just have to have faith in your abilities and know you aren't going to mess up. Chances are you won't.

As for your social life, this is where ATCaver's comment comes into play. Currently, it seems you live a very isolated life, without much support from others. If you take time to open up, help others who aren't in as good of a position as you, and take the time to reinforce your relationships, then you will be much happier given the presence of others who really care about you. I'll be honest, I don't know much about aspergers or bipolar disorder, but there are some key values you have to keep no matter what you're dealing with. Be honest, be loyal, apologize when you mess up, voice your opinions, and most of all you have to be open. If you're hoping to have real friends who are there for you, you have to open yourself to them. These feelings of suicide and depression, for example, are things that you need friends to talk over with you. When you're alone your thoughts can take deep, dark turns. When you have others who support you, they can show you the error of your logic, and help you understand that you are a good person, you aren't going to mess up your medicals, and you have a fantastic life, with a fantastic opportunity to help others in more ways than medical.

Hope this helps, try and message me back with your thoughts, I try and check this every day to help everyone I can!

/r/SuicideWatch Thread Parent