Thank you so much for your comment. I’m not going to say I’m suicidal, but I’ve gotten in so much debt the last few years with bad decisions(slowly slowly getting better) but I have just been having thoughts like… why… what’s the point, to just work work work for a few moments. Im 36 and feel like I’ve lived a really good life apart from the last few years. I’ve traveled with a photography video job and done awesome things, had a group of friends from college that became my brothers from other mothers.

I often think too existentially about life and how this rock flying through space is only temporary and the universe doesn’t need humanity to continue and eventually it will all burn out anyway, environment is going to poop, politics I feel like can improve over time and great effort of humanity. I’m getting in my darker thoughts again I apologize.

I have to read comments like yours. Thank you so much even with your short comment. You give me hope and speak my language. I grew up mormon and lost my faith over the last few years. A few years ago one of my best friends since college passed away, then a couple weeks ago my cat my brother and I have had for seven years passed away with health declining from okay to critical in the span of a few hours for no apparent reason and then getting told he won’t make it/euthanasia talk, having to say goodbye and make cremation decisions all in the span of a half hour. All these things really messed with me in these ways too as far as life purpose. Like, i know death is a thing and how it works but some how it still blows my mind joe someone can be there and then just gone. All this recent stuff aside I feel like I’m finally finally finally slowly getting back to the person I used to be but a newer better version of me. Sorry for the poopoo thoughts and rant.