I was 26 when I got pregnant, married for a year, had been together for 6 years by the time he was born. A year later, still together, but I'm not going to lie: that first year is ROUGH, and among most folks I know, one parent kind of just...peaces-out mentally and leaves a lot of the burden on the other parent.

Not as much now, but I pretty much thought about divorce 10 times a day, every day, for the first several months. I knew it would completely destroy my son's life and we may never crawl out of that hole if I left. I think that a lot of marriages could survive and even thrive if most people expect and plan for the first year to be tough, but that things CAN get better as the baby gets older.

I don't feel romantic love for my husband anymore. A lot of that had to do with a traumatic birth and postpartum depression and not feeling like he a.) cared or b.) could be bothered to help. He actually joked in front of one of our friends when he learned that I was writing to the hospital to complain about their numerous failings. In his eyes, he was fearful that it could come back on him because the OB practice I was going to is affiliated with his place of employment; he was also worried that some of the fantastic employees at the hospital (like the special care nurses) would get lumped in with the complaint. I get that now, but wish he had conveyed all of that better back then.

I feel like our relationship is slowly getting back on track. He has been really supportive of me in screening OBs (as there are procedures/tests/etc. I'll never go through again based on what I went through at the last practice). He has been more supportive, kind and considerate of the shame, humiliation and guilt I went through as a result of bringing our child into this world with a crappy birth team.