You are wrong. And it will come when you least expect it.

Now, this sounds like a biggest fucking bullshit on the planet. Pure naivity from those who dont understand how hopeless hopelessness truly is. It works for the other people, not me. People who are attractive, fit, social, cool, fun. That's not me. I'm lost forever.

I've been there. I attempted suicide twice because of loneliness. I was virgin till 23. I made out once and she told me I suck at it and went to made out with someone else. I was refused so many times it is beyond counting. I even got kicked out of party for being too ugly. Yep.

So I got into mental state where I forced myself to accept eternal loneliness. I saw no other way. Alcohol helped a lot. My plan was to get good at my work, make good money and spend later years hiring high quality escorts.

So... the story:

We had a 4-day film festival at the school, with afterparty each day. I missed first two days because I went to my grandpa's funeral. I travelled all day home. At night, I was very sad and lonely, so I decided to check out one of the parties. Mostly because that place serves 80% absinths, my favorite drink.

None of my friends went, so it's filled with bunch of strangers. I'm sitting at the bar drinking my absinths and questioning why I went there in the first place.

Then I notice a girl one of my friends tried to pick up couple months back. She was really cool, I remembered. Maybe she can share my company for a while and I don't need to drink alone. Never crossed my mind it would develop into something else, it never did and I didn't even try anymore to be honest.

So I joined her and brought her one absinth as well. I'm a true gentleman after all. She gets quite excited because absinth is the drink of The Cursed Poets. We strike out conversation about Baudelaire and Rimbaud and Verlaine. I got lucky because I had to do a very random research paper on them just a week before. She knew them because she loves poetry. I ask her to dance. She agrees. But I still don't think much of this. I had similary great conversations many many times with preety girls and it always led to "it was fun but I don't see you in that way".

This is getting way too long so I speed up the story. We go dance. She starts to be quite close to me. I try to put my hand on her hips. She lets me. Eventually, we make out. I walk her home and ask her if she wants to meet next day too. She agrees. Week later I'm no longer virgin. Two great months later I'm writing this post. I still can't believe it to be honest. She is smart, preety, fit, funny. She can have almost anyone. Yet she still sticks with my fat ass, I'm still not sure why but I'm really really glad she does.

I didn't change anything about me that night. I didn't act differently. I didn't play "red pill games". I didn't try to get anyone. It just randomly came to me. It just happened. When I truly least expected it.