3. The love of my life just left me...

The love of my life just left me...

I used to think the same; around this time last year my partner of three years broke up with me because he couldn't handle my crazy anymore. I thought we would get married and have a life together but my world and my future came crashing down around me. I thought I was done and I would never find anyone who made me feel the way he did.... I wanted to die.

About a week later, I half heartedly made an OK-Cupid profile and answered a bunch of questions to determine my best match; my best match was a beautiful Scandinavian guy... 'Ok' I thought to myself 'you're hurting girl, but it's important to try to make new connections in the world, go out and meet this guy" so I did.... Because we matched so closely he also had borderline personality disorder... Honestly I know this is weird but from the intensely deep conversation we leapt into in the first three minutes of meeting, I knew I was going to really like this guy, and by the end of the first date when he gently pushed me up against my apartment building wall, took my face in his hands and kissed me, I knew I was falling for him, and I suddenly noticed the thoughts of death had stopped racing through my mind because I had just met someone I wanted to learn more about, someone I was genuinely interested in... So it only took three minutes of conversation with someone new who I connected with to slow the thoughts of dying and it only took less than two hours and a kiss to give me something to hold on for for tomorrow. Love and meaning and friendship and purpose pop up randomly and at the least expected times. To give up now seems so appealing because I understand your pain, but try to understand my hope; you will meet someone else who will light up your life and make every day feel like a beautiful summer day, it just doesn't feel that way right now, but if you can ride through this emotional pain and that heartbreak pain where you it feels like you might literally vomit up your heart, I promise you will feel better.

In the words of "Dirty Pretty Things":

"For all the friends you've not yet met Some would die for you I bet So hold on for tomorrow."

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