3. LPT: If the emotional reaction of the person you're talking to seems out of prop...

LPT: If the emotional reaction of the person you're talking to seems out of proportion to the situation, they're probably upset about something other than the current topic of conversation.

Also look out for "switch tracking".

Husband: I bought you roses

Wife: This is a gag gift right? We were just talking last week about how I don't like roses.

Husband: Are you seriously complaining when I brought you flowers? Feels like nothing I do gets any credit.

Wife: Don't get mad at me, you are the one who apparently only pretended to listen last week when we were talking. Do you realize how unimportant it makes me feel to realize your mind is wondering while we talk?

Husband: Why can't you just say thank you?

Wife: You want me to thank you when I just told you last week how many times I have gotten my finger caught on rise thorns?

What follows is the husband trying force his wife to say thank you for the flowers, and the wife refusing and offering every reason why she shouldn't. But the flowers are just a proxy, the real issue is the wife feels like her husband is inattentive when they talk and the husband feels that many of his small gestures go overlooked. The are having two separate conversations but believe they are discussing the pros and cons of roses. Neither can understand why the other is so passionate about roses being good or bad.

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