I had that realization a few years ago. After a seeing a chain of fucked up manipulative and controlling behaviour from my father (who I wasn’t super close with anyway).

My dad and I got into a disagreement when my grandma passed away, and he got back at me by texting me the wrong address for the funeral home. Not slightly wrong, I mean other side of town wrong. I managed to track it down by calling every funeral home in the city and he spent the remainder of the time telling people how I didn’t care enough about my grandma to show up on time.

Icing on the cake was his brother was staying at his place during the funeral and my dad destroyed all of his packs of cigarettes since he refused to have tobacco in his house. I found his brother picking up butts outside of the restaurant I was supposed to meet them for breakfast. I bailed on breakfast, brought my uncle a pack of cigarettes and haven’t spoken to my dad since.