I'm a guy and I'm from Europe and a sub urban area, so I might be biased. But I want to give my thoughts on this though.
First of all I am sorry that you have been through these experiences and that so many have abused you and your friends. It should not have happened, and it is disgusting stuff like this is happening this very moment probably.
Your first stories are a bit 'you choose what you do' to me. You decided to stand up against that kid, and that is good, that is what all the girls should have done. And if my daughter came home with punishment for something like that, the principal would get a very loud call, as would my parents do when I was young. But the girl that played truth or dare and gave a BJ was in full control in my eyes. If you don't want to do something, you don't do it. When you value the opinion of people over your own, that is something you personally have to deal with, that is not misogyny. The same for the girl saying she lost her virginity, her call and I like to think/ hope a boy would have met the same punishment, at least they would have here (probably they wouldn't have cared that much here, at least not enough to ban them from coming back).
The story of Thomas is sickening as well. The way your 'friends' acted disgusts me as well. I know my friends and I am pretty sure that the majority of them wouldn't watch and would bash the door in.
What Thomas did is sick and unforgivable. It was clearly rape, and that makes it even worse your friends did nothing to help you. But I have a genuine question for you though about this. Know that I know this is probably a hard memory and I do not support the 'we need to change how women behave so they don't get raped' thing and don't want to put the blame with you, or women in general but.
How come you did not physically hurt him? In your position it would have been easy to hurt him in a way that would immobilize him for a few seconds up to a few minutes. I understand that there is the effect of the alcohol and shock, but in my mind I think I would have acted on what is happening. I talk about things like this with my female friends a lot too, and most of them react the same, in a 'I will bite his dick clean off' manner. I am curious to this why not many do it. Is it doubt about what is happening? or fear? Again I don't mean to put the blame on you or anything.
The teacher is once more a disturbing story, and I don't really understand how people like that can stay employed in the USA. Around here, only two of complaints of that nature would be sufficient to put such an teacher on non active and make a research to him and his 'way of teaching'. And if my daughter told me such a story (the broken finger one) Senor kissmyass would have a black eye for a few days. My question here is how did she react? Or her parents? Did they do nothing at all?
Collin is an ass hole. Sadly enough they exist. But not all men are like Collin, and most of us would judge Collin for his way of treating you. But ultimately, you choose who you date and who you not date. I find it a bit rushed that you would have sex with someone if you don't know their stance on such delicate subjects, but it can be that around here people talk more about those kind of things. I don't know. But with the part of your story that I read, I can tell in which 'box' Collin fits in, and it is the retarded degenerate box.
The tax story is disgusting as well, and I'm glad you could escape. I understand that you were probably scared and shocked, but I'm certain that if you noted his license plate and went to the authorities with it, they would have done something about it. Again I don't want to put blame on you or anything, I am just raised with a pro active mindset. My mother has a similar story to yours by the way, maybe this explains what I am 'biased' on this a bit.
When she was 13-14 years old she and her friend hitchhiked a ride. Her friend sat in the front next to the driver, and she sat behind him. After a bit the driver missed a street he should have turned in, and instead drove down a forest road. After asking what he was doing, he did not respond and sped up. My mom's friend started crying while my mom yelled at her to pull up the brake. After seeing her just cry for a bit she reached behind his head and pushed her nails in his eyes. The driver immediately stopped and they escaped.
Now when I was young, I looked like a girl, so my mom learned and told me all of these things should I be kidnapped or whatever, but it shows two ways of handling something as well. And I tend to lean towards my mom her side, acting on whatever is happening. So if I come over insensitive and 'he says it is the girls fault!' ish, it is because I was raised to act on whatever happens. Regardless of if it is fair or not fair.
Hilary, I find her situation sad but ultimately it is her own fault. Yes this man was in a position of power and yes he abused said power. But you have ALWAYS a choice. She could have stopped any time, said he was overstepping his boundaries and such. So although I feel sad for her that she was used, and think the guy is an immense ass hole, I think she did it to herself really, and there is no need to call this misogyny either. It could easily have been an older female artist with a young guy.
I consider myself a feminist, in the way that I am all for equal rights. I am still surprised to find out that even in my country there is a wage gap in many professions. It is ridiculous to me and I don't understand how it is still not fixed. I find it disgusting what happens in third world countries, and I think the western world should do more to protect those people from our ass holes. Punish harder, be more vigilant et cetera. pedophiles go free too many times still, and although I agree that it is a disease of the mind, I think we need to punish them harder, for they did not seek help when they knew they were sick. Instead they choose to give in to their ill mind.
At the same time I'm a bit worried with your last statements. You turn it into a competition, a We vs them thing. This is wrong. Not only because it isn't right, but also because you will wrong/ angry a lot of men that otherwise would help you, but now feel pushed in this we vs them thing. Taking up a stance like this will only harm your endeavors in my eyes.
Also instead of condemning men and their cultures and counting female CEO's, I think it would be better to focus on better education and educational preparation with females. Fact there are less female engineers, CEO's and the like, but there are also far less female students in those fields. Even here in Europe I can clearly see the difference with an IT engineering or Industrial engineering class and a Office administration, Diet and health or Psychology class. The first have around 10 to 20% females opposed to the other having 50 -65% females. I don't judge people for choosing what they study, but if there are less females studying to be this or that, there will be less females occupying the jobs. And that is something sad, because I know many bright and smart girls that would be excellent engineers and such, but they have this sort of image of these professions that it are 'male' professions and such. That's bull shit but if so many girls believe that, something needs to be done about that, preferably at the root.
And lastly, I believe you that being a woman is hard. And that it brings along its bad sides when growing up. But being a male isn't all that easy either. Remember that every child is born pure and unknowing. Every thing that you call patriarchy and misogyny is Thaught to these kids at a point eventually. You, as mothers, sisters aunts and teachers, all have a part in this. Boys have, as well as girls, stereotypical standards to fit into and live by. Boys can't cry, boys can't show emotions and feelings, boys need to be tough, bad boys are cool, being able to have many girls is cool, the list goes on and on, and many of these points even you, females, contribute to and enforce them.
Maybe you didn't break up a bullying because a boy did something girlish and you thought "Well he needs to become a big boy eventually" or something else. Also when a typical ass hole is 'getting all the girls' and you are all dreaming the day away about him in high school, other boys notice this. They all make deductions and conclusion based on this and how you react to it. They look at the 'real men' in life and try to be like them. Be it the "handsome bad guy" on the block or their fathers, in most cases it is somebody you look up to as well. For example a boy could be dreaming to be like his dad, who is a misogynist because his mother loves him. Or a boy would become an ass hole, like the one his crush is in love with.
These all may seem like little, idiotic stuff, but it contributes to the whole and is part of the source of the problem here. I think that instead of making this a men vs women thing, you would be better off with taking a positive route with this, and tackle the problem at its source. Namely education. And not only education in school, but also in the home and between friends and such.