This is interesting cause it reminds me of a period of time when my partner was stressed about his job and we had just had a kid together. He’d unwind by having a gin and tonic or two, once or twice a week. Now, my parents rarely ever drink. A party, or with friends. That’s literally it. I had never experienced this form of drinking and it freaked me the hell out because it seemed to be helping him cope and alcohol is not good for that. He eventually stopped the habit because he was well aware that it wasn’t healthy and he started doing cognitive behavioural therapy forms and exercise and meditation instead. He also started talking to me about his stresses and giving me a chance to show support, and in that we bonded and got through the tough times together, instead of escaping into some kind of distraction, chemical or otherwise.

So, your boyrfriend’s worries are very familiar to me, and your justifications for drinking are quite weird to me. Just - not in my culture, I suppose? It seems an awfully difficult way to live - only feeling a shadow of relief when drinking, and it passes. It;s not even real relief. And decent alcohol is expensive, too.

It just seems to me that you’d be better off sinking the money you’d spend on grog on some good, solid therapy. Not talk therapy, mind you. Clinical psychology, going into anxiety reduction methods. It’s not easy but the outcome lasts more than a night and there’s no hangover.

Another thing to keep in mind is that peak health bodies worldwide have said that the safe limits of alcohol are no longer concretely known. The consensus on a safe amount to drink per day is variable, but one thing that is definitely known - alcohol is a level one carcinogen. Like any drug, if you are using it in place of prescription medication you need to gauge the risk-to-benefit ratio. If alcohol was so harmless, and so good at helping with nerves, doctors would prescribe it. They don’t.

I see your boyfriend’s point of view, but I also know what it’s like to have bad anxiety and need relief (that was my entire 20s, yo). Substances are transitory. Therapy that corrects your perceptions and unhelpful thinking patterns is forever.