I want to respond to a few comments and points here.

My eldest is 12. We have a very lovely relationship at the moment and have heart to hearts & very truthful conversations regularly. They also have a good relationship with their dad and more so their step mom. However I am all too aware that as they become a teenager, things could unravel very quickly so something, someway in another, needs to change.

My family and his family think we are very happy. Whilst he can be dismissive and subdued around my folks he has done a lot for us and a lot for them and they put this behaviour down to a very busy lifestyle, professional job, business on the side and a family to look after.

As for his family, they live in another country and his parents are split up. We see his mom and keep in touch regularly. His dad on the other hand is a true narcissist. Didn't acknowledge our wedding, our baby and got my husband into some tricky business/financial situations.

We don't see our friends too often as we honestly don't have the time. We do have a few friends that we'd see once or twice a year at dinner parties, weddings etc and we get on fine then and he opens up and is quite charming and attentive (genuinely) to me then.

However my closest friend, who he ignored at the mall, once said, whilst very drunk, I could do better. I've also had a few random colleagues, who have met him in a professional capacity, ask why I am with him. He's very serious about his work but is realising the importance of being approachable and is making an effort.

As for me, I repeat that I'm not blameless in this situation. I have high expectations of myself and others around me and as my drunk friend also said, I put everyone on a pedestal. I'm uptight and anxious about being a happy, healthy normal family and I admit I put pressure on everyone to try their best.

I'm on the fence here. 50% of the time, things are fine. 25%, uncomfortable, and the other 25% equal wonderful or unbearable. Things could be great if we weren't under pressure at work or financially (as all families seem to be) and I'd like to see if that's achievable when we get on our feet, which we're managing, slowly but surely.