You're talking absolute crap here. You're labeling it as setting a precedence. If you want to go that route then you're setting a precedent while breathing so why not break that precedent and stop breathing huh? This isnt a matter of autonomy and independence. Her now husband is in love with her. This is a hard case for her. He does not want to see her with another man. Her ex. How can you not literally see this? I'm surprised how so many people haven't caught eye to this. When 2 people are in love they inexplicity make a pact to be there with each other. They choose each other as their partner. Its even stated in the wedding vows the nature of their relationship. For unknown reasons her ex broke up his relationship with her but now that he is terminaly ill he wants to meet her one last time but the thing that has changed is that she is no longer available to take him whenever he wants. Imo he made a mistake and is pushing to get her out of her marriage to meet him one last time. She now married another man. Her now husband is entitled to her love. Thats the nature of her relationship. But he feels that if she goes to see him (her ex) it paints a bad view for their love life. Because now she has 2 important men in her life, her current husband and her previous one. The new husband doesnt want to share that position. She is the only important woman in his life and he wants that to be the case for her also( for him to he the only important man in her life). He wants that exclusivity. But if she goes to see him then she reinforced her relationship with that man and arguably placed it above her current one with her now husband which I understand why he is pissed about. It paints a different narrative if you will. He is not being manipulative. He is just affirming his ground. Idk if some girls get off to the romance she had with her previous partner and romanticize it but her current partner is not going to stand there to be humiliated. He is either going to get his wife the way they established to each other or he will divorce her if she goes to him and get what he can while at it. I am sure she explained to him her previous marriage/relationship to her now husband and he agreed at the time of the wedding about her past but he did not agree to this happening thats why he is setting these boundaries. He isnt telling her she cant talk to male coworkers but he is telling her she cant abandon her family to go by her previous ex bed. From her point of view her ex might die soon and this is indeed an important event. People dont die everyday and it is eventful but in her defense he already knew this. I dont know what lead to their previous breakup but from what op is saying he broke it off with or without giving it much detail. I have to point out the irony and stupidity of her ex now though. He broke it off citing he didnt want it to affect her and now he is the one calling her while she is beside her family and pregant to be by his deathbed. It is ironic though. I dont know whats the correct choice here. But I will add that the previous ex already knew this day would come that he would die and he chose to break it off. He couldn't realistically expect her to meet him to be by his side once he broke things off. He isnt owed that time by her especially now that she has a new life and new partner and baby to focus her attention and energy towards.