These past years have just been so high and so low for me. My best friend died the end of my senior year. Then i started college which helped but didn't make me feel normal yet. Then my dad decided to get drunk and beat the shit out of me one weekend I was staying with him. Then i met a girl on a video game which may sound stupid and in hindsight it was but I really thought I loved her and she loved me. That's when the real highs started. We'd skype every day and play games together and eventually started a relationship. Then she kinda took a break/cheated on me... long story and it really is confusing. Then we got back together. We met in may for a couple weeks. Then again in august. In September after telling me I was the guy she wanted to be with forever just a week or so earlier she asked for a break. She went out with some other guy for a while and it hurt when she came back saying she could only think of me. But I let her back in. Then i was insecure and miserable and started getting more depressed every day. Christmas night she calls me and tells me it's over and she doesn't want to deal with my insecurities anymore. The first week I was a wreck. Texting her telling her I'm sorry some texts were angry... Idk I didn't know what to say. Then the next I was getting better. The past couple days I was actually feeling good. Then i dreamt about her sleeping with another guy last night. I woke up feeling like I was going to vomit. I took off this semester because of what happened over break. I was too depressed. So I'm staying with my mom. Me and her don't get along too great. She was being particularly herself today and I didn't want to deal with it. I got upset. Said somethings it shouldn't have. Nothing untrue but still I'm always the nice quiet laid back guy that no one expects to go off like that. She kicked kicked me out and I'm laying here in my truck wondering if any things even worth it