Your relationship sounds almost exactly like mine, though a few more years down the line.

A recent crush has made me realise something: someone just treating me like I am a worthwhile person who brings some value other than strict utility makes me feel better about myself than my marriage has in years.

I am far from perfect, but I have tried my best, and I have accepted my wife taking me utterly for granted for years - and by the sound of it, so have you.

Be honest with yourself: just because she isn't 'actively' abusive or excessively argumentative doesn't make it anything more than 'bad' - if you weren't married, you wouldn't dream of tolerating the same from a friend or partner.

Admit to yourself that you deserve better, and take some time to think about what 'better' would actually be - like me, I suspect you will find the bar for 'better' is actually depressingly low.