I don't think my childhood has been particularly tough. My mother was an alcoholic, but is fine now and my father was away most of the time due to his job and was overly strict (wake up at 6.30am during weekends kind). When he was away my mother and I and my sisters used to be kind of stressed out about everything having to be perfect for when he comes home.

My godchild dies when he was 1.5years old, but I think I handled that pretty well at the time.

I've been very unfortunate medically though. I suffer from chronic migraines, usually about 1-2 times a week I would wake up with a migraine in the morning and be incapacitated until the evening. This slowed down my school going. I had to transfer to an evening school. Everything is just starting to fall into place, I'm almost finished with school, I have a girlfriend and we have lived together for over a year now.

I've recently had to have a couple of surgeries done to battle a pretty bad case of sinus infection. The medication from them has made me feel pretty ill and tired. It's panacod (Paracetamol and Codein)

But all in all, surgeries are over, migraines are very few now (about once a month), I'm almost finished with school, new job coming up and all that.

Even though everything is going fine, I feel sadder than ever. I have no motivation to meet my wonderful friends, when I do go out we have a great time but I just don't seem to enjoy it for some reason. I'm tired all the time but sometimes can't sleep because of pain. Thinking about suicide has grown from being the odd idea once a week to being something I think about many times a day.

I realized this isn't normal anymore and decided it would be a good idea to go and speak to someone. I've been to therapy before.

But this isn't therapy, it's a psychiatrist. I'm not completely sure about their difference but this seems much more like going to a doctor I guess.