Guess what, sir? You are welcome to change your mind. You've faiund that this dynamic doesn't work for you, to the point that it's causing you significant distress. You feel alienated to the point of seeking understanding from internet strangers.

Having said all of this, your wife appears to not be bothered that you're suffering in the relationship. Im afraid to say it, but it appears you've been cucked. I cannot, and will not, tell you what you should do, because I cannot relate and don't have to suffer the consequences of my advice.

I will tell you that this is your chance to identify, set, and enforce your own boundaries. What you're feeling is eating you alive, and you need to figure out how to shift that for the better. No matter what you end up doing, know that everything has its consequences and be prepared to accept them.