Part of me wonders if he made an extra effort to see me tonight because he noticed how off I was this week. But most of me thinks it doesn't really matter how much that part may have played a role. Whether by intention, circumstance, or coincidence he wanted to see me these last few days very badly. That's what really matters.

And as much as we love our open relationship kinks and they play a role in us reaffirming/reconnecting, getting closer...it hasn't played as big a role lately. I haven't had not had a Hotwife date in months (until a couples of weeks ago) because schedules just haven't matched up. With up to four heavily screened, well trusted partners I've known for over 4 years each the schedules aren't matching up. So the bf is a little put off by that amd so am I. I adore these men and I'm allowed to be with them.

The really interesting part is he hasn't mentioned having my gf over in quite some time. And his talking of fantasizing of other women has gone down quite a bit. Of all people, I'm sure you get that his sexual attraction to and fantasizing about other women has almost never bothered me. (Unless she is just an unkind, exploitive bitch.) When others are involved it's literally just about sex and fun for him. But for some odd reason he hasn't really mentioned other women very much for a few months.