I actually filed a petition to legally change my last name about a month ago, because I "didnt want anything to do" with my fathers last name. He never had a dad and as a kid he would always yell at me over the slightest things and didn't really teach me anything about the real world. I kind of hated him, but he was also diagnosed with PTSD from going to war in iraq in 2004 as a navy corpseman. We never really talked living under the same house as my mom and gma, beacause any conversation would just be either him yelling at me, or me always being wrong about everything. I recently found out that my last name has a big connection with healthcare and I didn't want to feel the pressure that is on me of dishonoring my father. My mom is a nurse and he is a radiologist.
I have an older sister and shes doing great as a teacher, teaching English overseas. Im basically the problem child still living at my parents house. I worked a few jobs since i was 16 but was never really happy following through with anything and sticking to it because i had an anxiety lingering for some reason. I was also kind of care-free as a teenager.. Lived life with no regrets and didn't really care about who judged me or how i was being perceived but was lucky enough to have a big group of friends at the time. As I got older, I had this weird phase of me thinking that either I'm adopted, or just lucky to have supportive parents and friends.I felt ungrateful for wanting to change my last name to something else because I felt like i disgraced and dishonored my family name by not being in college or having a stable job. During this phase I became really depressed, distancing myself from my family and friends, worrying about my own identity.
My mom is my best friend and we can talk to each other about anything and i wanted to talk to her about legally changing my last name. She didn't agree at first but the more i was thinking about it and wanting to do it, she was still very supportive of my decision.
My court date to legally change my last name was supposed to be tomorrow, but I decided to just leave it as it is.
Im 24 now and I am currently planning to follow my fathers footsteps to enlist in the navy this year and proceed as a Sterile Processing Technician. (after this damn quarantine passes ) I realize that at the end of the day, the people that love you will always support you for who you are, but you should always be yourself and be proud of who you are. Do what makes YOU happy, and always with good intentions. Life is too short to be deciding, and remember that love always wins..