Don't be so hard on yourself--I think we all have had times where we thought, "if only, I had ____, my life would be perfect!" For me I had the opposite problem as you: I was skinny and flat chested. You wouldn't believe how often bigger girls would look at me and say nasty things to me as if my life was perfect. Ha. Ha. Ha. I was the one wishing if only my chest weren't this concave mess, a boy would like me and then life would be grand! Etc etc etc. I was wallowing in my misery, feeling like a failure while all my prettier, bustier friends got asked out and I stayed single until well into my 20's (and only found my first boyfriend thru a dating website,... And he ended up being an manipulative jerk that abused me for years.) yeah. If only I had xyz! Sigh.
Thing is, kids are super perceptive. You're right. No matter how much you try to hide it, your daughter will pick up on your attitude and behaviors. It really sucks. I hated my body, but I've come to terms with it now. I worry that my kids will have body issues too despite my having wrestled with it already (mostly because my mil is fat and my daughter takes after my husband's side of the family... And my dad is an idiot about body image. My daughter is 4 and he's already telling her not to eat so much or she will be fat like her other grandma." WTF, DAD?!? And I felt bad saying my mil is fat but she really is and openly admits it. She's not plump or just soft, but outright fat.) I have other issues I am working on (like my anger management) because I know they are affecting my kids. As parents, one of the best things we can do is be the best people we can be so we set a good example.
Through the years, I've tried to teach myself that I'm more than my body. Yes, my body is part of me, but I can only change so much (barring surgery, I'm stuck with my flat chested boyish figure. We are talking less than AA cups here and no waist. It's like I'm a straight up stick, no curves anywhere!) But I can change my skills. I can change my outlook on life. I can control that, so that's what I focused on. I may not be pretty and girly, but I can be smart, hardworking, thoughtful, kind, and talented. And honestly, those things are more important than a body that will eventually lose its beauty anyway. Right? So try to focus less on the body and more on attitude and skills.
You like crafting. Isn't it so nice to finish a project?? Those skills didn't appear from nowhere. Focus on that feeling of accomplishment and pride of work and teach that to your daughter. The time and energy you spend hating your body would be better spent on creating fun things for yourself and sharing them with loved ones. Yes--when your daughter is working on anything, be it a crafting project or sport or academics, she will face failure. We all do. But the most important part of that is how we deal with it. Do we let it get us down forever? Or do we appreciate it as a learning experience and try again? It's very hard, seeing your children try and fail at something. I see the light in my daughters eyes go out when she can't get something right the first time. But I just clap and say "wow that was fun! Let's try again and see what we can do differently!" I tell her I fail at things everyday, but it's ok! It just means I have to try again.
We will all face failure and we will probably all face bullying at some point in our lives. When I was 25, I was even getting nasty comments from 20 something's up to 50 something's at the workplace for my being skinny. People implying I was anorexic or bulimic, following me to the restroom to see if I was puking up my lunch, then making snide remarks about how easy I must have it and writing me off if I ever joined in on conversations about being self conscious about my body. Can you believe it? They'd exclude me from things and even conspired to get me fired for unrelated issues. I was bullied in a large corporate setting. Crazy. You need to teach her how to deal with bullies now because it's an important life skill! I'm not too sure how to do that though, so hopefully other parents can help. But I'd imagine having a good sense of self and self confidence would help.
Kids are smart--they can sense low self esteem and will exploit it to the nth degree. I had (still have) low self esteem and my parents always taught me to be non confrontational and just suck it up. They also constantly told me that I was worthless and useless, and all I can say is "don't do that!" I'm sure it played a part in my being such a target for bullying and abusive relationships.
Sorry this is disjointed. On mobile.