Starting a regiment with my brother this coming school year as our Uni has a pretty great gym. Planning to get into the army as an officer (through whatever commission it is) and looking to be a tank crewman. My bro is torn between armor and artillery. ANYWAY, I keep beating myself up because I've tried a commitment like this before, but didn't go through with it.

I just keep fucking backing down and getting right back to playing videogames or some shit. I'm only 5'6'' and 134 pounds and developing a gut in my Senior year so I know it's crunch time for me to work hard over the course of a year and get commissioned into the Army. I'm just simply not going to make it if I stay in the shape I'm in now.

This internship I'm working in my field is a cubicle job and it's not like I don't like my major, but CHRIST, I need to do something interesting if I'm going to be able to live a cubicle lifestyle afterwards and I've always been interested in tanks.

So I'm trying to get motivated and get pumped. I know I want to do it as I've always kind of dreamed of being a Tank Commander, but I keep punching myself mentally with this shit of "you'll never get in shape" or "you're too damn short." It's really pissing me off that I don't know how to really handle it.

I feel like my brother coming in as a factor will help, but I just feel I'm going to break off and forget about it, but I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT UP. I want to be a tank guy, I want to do something interesting before I get to be a boring info-security guy.

I saw the post about some guy doing 20 pushups a night and I started doing that about two weeks ago in prep for this regiment coming up. How the hell do you guys keep motivation though? I feel like I keep making excuses and I don't know any real methods to control them. (I know I keep saying this, but...) It's really pissing me off. I need to take control. I need to get myself going.