Realized what I missed here in Disney World

My nsis got herself good and drunk our first night at disney. we were at this outside seating area right by one of the disney hotels side entrances - I'm trying to calm her down but nooope. she was not having it. she screams at me, throws her booze laced energy drink at me (so gross), throws a sloppy punch, and knocks over a chair as she flounces off.

A family of three (man, woman, stroller age child) were leaving the hotel right when this went down. He yells, "Hey!" but the little scrap is basically already over and sis is already brushing past them towards the hotel. Whereas I'm still sitting there outside, energy drink dripping down my shirt and well. Kinda start crying. Not bawling just that sad and frustrated sort of silent crying. I get up and start to pick up the chair sis knocked over. The man comes over and asks me if I'm all right and what is my conditioned response? brush off all attention as fast as possible, smile, and crack a joke. All while tears and processed sugar are streaming down my face. Must have been a sight. "Yes, I'm fine! Family vacations, amiright?"

They hesitate a while but I can't look at them. Start looking for the energy drink can instead because while i am a lot of things a litter bug is not one of them. Eventually they leave after the guy asks again, "You're sure you're okay?" and I say, "Yes." just as quickly as I did the first time.

My panicked thought process was essentially: 'Look, I know you're trying to be good and decent human beings but please, please, I'm trying not to draw attention to myself, please don't tell security, please don't let anyone else have seen, if we get kicked out, it's going to be MY fault for setting her off, I know it, please, please, please, leave me alone.' I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about.

I was so furious and hurt the entire damn trip. The entire thing was so unnecessary and, yeah, my n/e mom - while upset with sis - still likes to ascertain that I didn't cut sis any slack (the poor drunken darling) and THAT'S why the blowup happened. Sis will go to her grave telling any who will listen I'm the GC and she's the SC. But guess which one of us gets away with literally everything? Yeah.

I'm sorry for the length. I've never actually told that story before and I'm still coming to terms with a lot stuff. I'm very thankful for this sub.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread